The best way out is always through

Sadness is not depression.

Sad is when you miss someone; depressed is when you lose 20 pounds from malnutrition and don’t get out of bed for two weeks.

Periodically feeling disappointment or sorrow, even to the point of missing work or losing a night’s sleep, is normal and natural. But depression is distinctly different and clearly defined.

The primary criteria include disturbance in sleep patterns; loss of appetite; difficulty concentrating and making decisions; loss of energy; poor self-image; and dwelling on suicidal thoughts. Depressive people exhibit several of the symptoms persistently for prolonged periods (two weeks and longer), to the point where routine functioning is impaired.

Depressed people have more vulnerable immune systems.

Depression is a form of stress, and stress has been demonstrated to compromise the body’s ability to ward off disease. This is one of the most overt examples of the mind’s impact on the body’s health. It may also explain why so many elderly people, despondent at the loss of a spouse, pass away within months of their wife or husband.

Manic depression is more than a severe case of depression.

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is characterized by swings from euphoric, incredibly energetic highs (mania) to catatonic lows. The moods tend to change with the seasons and can sometimes be treated with a stabilizer such as lithium. Genetics play a significant role in susceptibility, and a disproportionate percentage of people with the disease are highly intelligent.

Changing diet and lifestyle can accomplish the same ends as antidepressants.

As far as it is currently understood, depression results from a disturbance in neurotransmitters, the chemicals that carry messages between nerve cells in the brain. Some people are able to correct the imbalance with high-protein, low-carbohydrate diets, stress reduction and exercise. Sunlight is also a proven mood enhancer. Antidepressant drugs correct the same problem synthetically.

1. Durians are delicious when you pick good ones.

2. I miss intellectual discussions.

3. The bulk of civil servants are probably the same everywhere.

4. There is no point being bitter and complaining. Things do not change that way.

5. I have no clear, passionate aim in life. That is what I need. Something to live for.

6. Cigs make my skin go haywire. I’m spending a fortune on moisturiser.

7. My pool is lovely. My home is lovely. Both physically and also inside, because my mum loves us so.

8. I have a dysfunctional family. I am determined to continue to find ways to bridge the gaps between us all!

9. My baby is the best uglydoll in the world because he loves me even when I’m not as my most loveable.

10. I feel torn, half of me thinking I’m getting too soft, and half of me thinking there’s nothing wrong with taking a proper, stressfree break.

11. I’ve never felt money was very important, but hell, it sure makes everything so much easier.

12. I am a lucky girl. I just need to stop being too introspective.

13. Sleep cures all ailments.

14. It is not enough to know. We need to act upon that knowledge.

15. I’m not going to allow my wedding and marriage to turn into disasters.

16. I should stick a picture of Jane Goodall on my desk to serve as encouragement.

16a. I’m clipping comics again. Yay!

The Problem: Too Much Time Apart
Sure, making movies has its perks — the glamour, the fame, the checks! — but it also comes with its downsides, one of which is crazy schedules. Relationships require time — both to build up and to maintain — and it’s likely that with a few big movies under both their belts in the last few years, Reese and Ryan just weren’t clocking enough hours of QT.

The Lesson: We’ve said it 100 times: you must make spending one on one time a priority. We know work, friends, and chores can get in the way, but take at least one night a week (and plan it every week) where you can eat takeout, set all your other duties aside, and talk. Put it on your BlackBerry so you don’t forget!

The Problem: Not Realizing How Hard It Is
When this duo married back in 1999, she was 23, he was 25 and they had a baby on the way. Talk about pressure. The process of falling in love, getting married and starting a family is spread out for a reason. These life-altering decisions merit time and thought and perhaps this Hollywood couple (not unlike others) moved a bit too quickly.

The Lesson: Create an ideal timeline with your mate, whether engaged or married. We all know that life never goes as planned, but it helps to have combined goals (we suggest writing them down). If you’re having trouble compromising, include an outside objective party (like a relationship counselor) for a realistic perspective.

The Problem: Putting Me First
Even if celebrities claim to not like the spotlight, they are, at the very least, accustomed to it. Only one person’s needs can come first in a relationship, though, and when you have two celebrities that are used to being the star, things can get complicated. If someone feels slighted or overlooked, bitterness, tension and bad behavior (like a drunk hubby at the Golden Globes) are almost sure to result.

The Lesson: Quit measuring who gets his or her way more often, and instead, give to your mate knowing that he/she will do the same for you. But if one is more of a taker than a giver, we suggest a healthy game of role reversal — tell your mate that you’re going to be the “taker” at least three days of the week.

The Problem: Room to Grow
Reese and Ryan’s demise could also be the result of the sad, but true possibility that they simply grew apart. If their choice in movie roles is any reflection of their personalities, this duo isn’t exactly like-minded. And while their differences may have been what initially drew them together (opposites do attract, right?), over time as Reese and Ryan grew as individuals these differences may have also created a distance that no amount of love could fill.

The Lesson: Make sure the two of you are growing together — talk about family traditions, start new ones and maintain friendships so you always share something meaningful in common. An easy rule? Say at least one new thing to each other every night during dinner.

REMINDER FOR US!!

Wa-hey!

I now have PayPal and Vpost accounts!

I promise only to order books (I love Borders and Kino but why so ex and non-extensive compared to AMAZON…)

Gwyneth Lewis rocks! (I sound like a teenager!)

(For clothes I’ll go through Yahoo! Auctions) Ha.

Darling, I think it’ll be some time before I can be part of a tai tai gang (anyway it seems rather boring to go for high tea and manicures). I haven’t forgotten that you get to take a break when you need to!

Remember the five simple rules to happiness:

1) Free your heart from hatred. 2) Free your mind from worries. 3) Live simply. 4) Give more. 5) Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start. However, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.  Also, what sometimes appears to be the end is really a new beginning.

God will not give you a test you cannot bear. And when He does, He grants you a permanent release, so know that you are created to overcome all tests.

I would like to thank The Man Upstairs, Thomas Lee, Haruki Murakami, Dorothy Rowe, Alexandra Robbins, Mr. Chiam, Paulho Coelho, Sophie Kho, Po Bronson, my family (both near and far, furry or squishy) and my friends for rallying around me and giving me love, cuddles, attention, lessons, direction, patience and guidance as I fell apart.

I’m happy to report that I’m satisfied with the modifications. It’s a constant work-in-progress though!

If I fall again, I will know how to mend and pick myself up