Reese and Ryan: What went wrong
The Problem: Too Much Time Apart
Sure, making movies has its perks — the glamour, the fame, the checks! — but it also comes with its downsides, one of which is crazy schedules. Relationships require time — both to build up and to maintain — and it’s likely that with a few big movies under both their belts in the last few years, Reese and Ryan just weren’t clocking enough hours of QT.
The Lesson: We’ve said it 100 times: you must make spending one on one time a priority. We know work, friends, and chores can get in the way, but take at least one night a week (and plan it every week) where you can eat takeout, set all your other duties aside, and talk. Put it on your BlackBerry so you don’t forget!
The Problem: Not Realizing How Hard It Is
When this duo married back in 1999, she was 23, he was 25 and they had a baby on the way. Talk about pressure. The process of falling in love, getting married and starting a family is spread out for a reason. These life-altering decisions merit time and thought and perhaps this Hollywood couple (not unlike others) moved a bit too quickly.
The Lesson: Create an ideal timeline with your mate, whether engaged or married. We all know that life never goes as planned, but it helps to have combined goals (we suggest writing them down). If you’re having trouble compromising, include an outside objective party (like a relationship counselor) for a realistic perspective.
The Problem: Putting Me First
Even if celebrities claim to not like the spotlight, they are, at the very least, accustomed to it. Only one person’s needs can come first in a relationship, though, and when you have two celebrities that are used to being the star, things can get complicated. If someone feels slighted or overlooked, bitterness, tension and bad behavior (like a drunk hubby at the Golden Globes) are almost sure to result.
The Lesson: Quit measuring who gets his or her way more often, and instead, give to your mate knowing that he/she will do the same for you. But if one is more of a taker than a giver, we suggest a healthy game of role reversal — tell your mate that you’re going to be the “taker” at least three days of the week.
The Problem: Room to Grow
Reese and Ryan’s demise could also be the result of the sad, but true possibility that they simply grew apart. If their choice in movie roles is any reflection of their personalities, this duo isn’t exactly like-minded. And while their differences may have been what initially drew them together (opposites do attract, right?), over time as Reese and Ryan grew as individuals these differences may have also created a distance that no amount of love could fill.
The Lesson: Make sure the two of you are growing together — talk about family traditions, start new ones and maintain friendships so you always share something meaningful in common. An easy rule? Say at least one new thing to each other every night during dinner.
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