Reset. Restart.
Let’s start over. Do what is important.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Upon Bubu’s advice
I shall resume blogging. I shall put down my thoughts and feelings here so that I may return to them when the going gets tough; or when I am inconsistent, unreasonable or emotional perhaps my previous words will remind me of what is important and right.
Today I am thankful for my husband’s encouragement, support, guidance and love through it all. It takes time (often too long, and after much pain and tears) for me to realise he was right all along, and each time I am still surprised and humbled. I need to work on being more receptive and trusting, even when the end is not in sight.
I have also decided to keep fit, not merely by restricting my diet, but by actually exercising. Dancing, yoga, biking, swimming…so many ways! I am also reading some financial books and refraining from online shopping. And i need to clear my clutter. Like now. Bye.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Dogs VS Cats (Hilarious)
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE BACKYARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE BACKYARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE BACKYARD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair… must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call “beer..” More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..
Friday, July 25, 2008
Love by way of Economics
| Lessons in Love, By Way of Economics Ben Stein New York Times, published 13 May 2008 As my fine professor of economics at Columbia, C. Lowell Harriss (who just celebrated his 96th birthday) used to tell us, economics is the study of the allocation of scarce goods and services. What could be scarcer or more precious than love? It is rare, hard to come by and often fragile. My primary life study has been about love. Second comes economics, so here, in the form of a few rules, is a little amalgam of the two fields: the economics of love. (I last wrote about this subject 20 years or so ago, and it’s time to update it.) • In general, and with rare exceptions, the returns in love situations are roughly proportional to the amount of time and devotion invested. The amount of love you get from an investment in love is correlated, if only roughly, to the amount of yourself you invest in the relationship. If you invest caring, patience and unselfishness, you get those things back. (This assumes, of course, that you are having a relationship with someone who loves you, and not a one-sided love affair with someone who isn’t interested.) • High-quality bonds consistently yield more return than junk, and so it is with high-quality love. As for the returns on bonds, I know that my comment will come as a surprise to people who have been brainwashed into thinking that junk bonds are free money. They aren’t. The data from the maven of bond research, W. Braddock Hickman, shows that junk debt outperforms high quality only in rare situations, because of the default risk. In love, the data is even clearer. Stay with high-quality human beings. And once you find you that are in a junk relationship, sell immediately. Junk situations can look appealing and seductive, but junk is junk. Be wary of it unless you control the market. (Or, as I like to tell college students, the absolutely surest way to ruin your life is to have a relationship with someone with many serious problems, and to think that you can change this person.) • Research pays off. The most appealing and seductive (that word again) exterior can hide the most danger and chance of loss. For most of us, diversification in love, at least beyond a very small number, is impossible, so it’s necessary to do a lot of research on the choice you make. It is a rare man or woman who can resist the outward and the surface. But exteriors can hide far too much. • In every long-term romantic situation, returns are greater when there is a monopoly. If you have to share your love with others, if you have to compete even after a brief while with others, forget the whole thing. You want to have monopoly bonds with your long-term lover. At least most situations work out better this way. ( I am too old to consider short-term romantic events. Those were my life when Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon were in the White House.) • The returns on your investment should at least equal the cost of the investment. If you are getting less back than you put in over a considerable period of time, back off. • Long-term investment pays off. The impatient day player will fare poorly without inside information or market-controlling power. He or she will have a few good days but years of agony in the world of love. To coin a phrase: Fall in love in haste, repent at leisure. • Realistic expectations are everything. If you have unrealistic expectations, they will rarely be met. If you think that you can go from nowhere to having someone wonderful in love with you, you are probably wrong. You need expectations that match reality before you can make some progress. There may be exceptions, but they are rare. • When you have a winner, stick with your winner. Whether in love or in the stock market, winners are to be prized. • Have a dog or many dogs or cats in your life. These are your anchors to windward and your unfailing source of love. Ben Franklin summed it up well. In times of stress, the three best things to have are an old dog, an old wife and ready money. How right he was. THERE is more that could be said about the economics of love, but these thoughts may divert you while you are thinking about your future. And let me close with another thought. I am far from glib about the economy. It has a lot of pitfalls facing it. As workers and investors, we know that many dangers lurk in our paths. But so far, these things have always worked themselves out and this one will, too. In the meantime, they say that falling in love is wonderful, and that the best is falling in love with what you have. Ben Stein is a lawyer, writer, actor and economist. |
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The familiar pagodas
Today’s run was awesome.
I managed to run! And it was pretty manageable, except for one sharp shooting pain in my right abdomen area for about 3-5 min. Granted, I walked a bit, but overall I’m glad I managed to complete the route. I’d definitely have been able to go faster if I had trained, and if I had not stopped to wait for some students, but it was great to be able to encourage them and have several friendly supporters cheering for me along the way 
Methinks embarking on a training programme may not be too difficult…so long as we start with cycling and swimming!
Am very impressed with the fitness level of my pupils. Reminds me of what a lovely feeling running with the wind in your hair along shady, tree-lined routes with a view of the lake is. Am thankful to be alive and mobile.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Getting Organised
After I packed my clothes/wardrobe, getting dressed in the mornings has become so much easier and quicker.
Next is to pack my work cubicle. It’s a disgrace.
Today I sorted out many things and I must say I feel so much more organised! Clutter is evil! Makes the million thoughts running around in my mind run doubly quickly and doubly haphazardly.
Must. Breathe. And. Grin. It.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Made my day!
Hi Mrs Squish,
My utmost apologies for failing to reply to your message for the past 21 days. As you had depicted, school life is hectic, I used to be able to loiter around the playground nearby last year with —. Although the time spent was admittedly un-meaningful and rather silly, I enjoyed it as I felt accepted into the community, I believed that happiness came from two basic factors, one which is achieving something, the other being accepted by other individuals.
School has been academically good for me, I was inspired by the new quality of teachers I received, with exception of the English teacher, 
I improved relations with — and made some new friends like —. In addition, I became Vice-President of —, went to the — camp and programs, and met some really good people there. Now, I work out, play less computer games and study harder.
Overall, I would like to thank you for your empathy, which is your genius, your talent. For it has changed my life completely, I look into the mirror in my room now, and there is this new feeling that engulfs me, it is… content, happiness, I can say I love myself now, and I owe it to you.
Forever grateful,
Your Ex-student
Sunday, July 20, 2008
When you say nothing at all
Sometimes, actions do not need any explanations.
When you are full of emotions and close to bursting, focus not on explaining, but on how you can, through your actions and convictions, help yourself and others understand better.
Took me a long time to realise the negligible value of self-justification.
Friday, July 18, 2008
How many times must a woman reset herself?
I get this sense that Bu is like Alfred and I am like Bruce.
He can jolly well say “I bloody told you so” but he doesn’t or won’t.
And I, merrily, fecklessly, continue crusading along for no good or clear cause at all. There are the occasional triumphs, but mostly when there are aches and pains (and those are pretty often), it is good old Alfred I turn to for comfort, admonishment and plain old good sense.
You’d think I knew better.
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Re-reading my blog entries alerts me of the apparent lapses in thought and behaviour on my part, and reminds me that I am still not concretely working towards any goal at all. It must be very very frustrating to live with me, and abruptly it dawns on me why he has run out of patience. Here is a man who does not want to live an aimless, meandering life. Here is a man full of dreams, hopes and ambition, who cannot seem to proceed because his wife simply doesn’t know what she wishes to do with her life. What does she hope to see on her epitaph? Can she be defined by anything other than meaningless words such as good friend, great teacher, filial child? Are those really empty words? Does she hope to leave a legacy, be it in social services or research?
She doesn’t know. There are a million things to do and none to hang on to and nowhere to begin.
But that is a negative way of thinking. The hardest is beginning, that’s all. It’s painful perhaps, but far from impossible.
And so we begin, again.
Let’s get priorities straight. I like fashion. I don’t think I ever want to be unable to afford the occasional indulgence in a vintage frock or sparkly gemstone. I also like spending money buying gifts for others.
To lead the good life, one must have enough money to afford the good life.
How does one get enough money? One needs to generate income. And without a substantial amount to invest, one must go to work.
Right now, short-sighted as it seems, I cannot find a job that pays me the equivalent of what I’m earning. Or rather, I’m not aware of such a job.
I also don’t save nor invest as much as I’d like to, and the wedding expenses have to be factored in. For the next half a year, it might be advisable to tighten my belt (as Bu pointed out, he hardly spends money compared to me). Still, it’s definitely time to start looking at investment options and generating a seed fund.
On the job front, what use is it complaining? One must inspire and be inspired. It’s the right way to live life, otherwise one becomes indistinguishable from the very specimen of homo sapiens one dislikes. Teaching is a wonderful job, and perhaps made more wonderful in an ordinary school. I’ve never forgotten that, but it seems that my inner demon is wresting for control. But it’s a mental game isn’t it? And since my mental health hasn’t been this good for some time, who says the cheerleaders won’t win?
On the home front, I’m letting the house go to the dogs. Cleaning up shouldn’t be seen as taking up time. It’s part of life
From today, I must try to blog regularly about the positives in life. It really helps. And learn to go to my little quiet space. I;ve said all this so very many times before. But I’m not internalising it. God grant me the strength and courage.
Love.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Another dollar, another day
Today was quite lovely.
I think it’s always hardest when you actually have to get out of bed. Beyond that, each day actually brings new and exciting experiences.
Take today for instance. I got the morning off to just sit and organise my desk, mail and thoughts. I had time to chat with colleagues, set things straight and do good by my class.
I’m glad
